Friday, May 26, 2006

Melancholy Musings

I’ve been feeling melancholy all week. Not depressed. I just have a touch of something that I can’t completely describe. I wonder if the feelings are being prompted by the Lori McKenna CD I’ve been listening to all week. I also saw a very sad movie.

I discussed the feeling with one of my best friend’s today. We talked about how we feel when we listen to music that makes us sad or melancholy. Her husband has asked her if she doesn’t find some of the music that she likes depressing. It’s not that. I know what she means. Sometimes listening to sad music feels good. It makes you think.

I feel the same way when I see a really sad movie that grabs hold of me. I can’t stop thinking about it. I remember feeling that way after I saw “The Green Mile.” My mother felt the same way. She even dreamed about the movie. She told me, “I dreamt about that little mouse last night. I dreamt that it was healing me.”

My mother died shortly after watching that movie and since then I can never watch it again without having a good cry. The kind of cry that is cleansing and makes you feel good.

There are songs on this CD that are very melancholy. Some songs talk about forlorn love and strong feelings. I love the lyrics to “Don’t Tell Her.” “Don’t tell her that I drink tea and not coffee. I’d prefer it if you didn’t talk about me…. Well, what if we meet on some cross-town street and you’ll introduce us and we’ll finally meet and I’ll be alone when you’re walking away and I’ll be wondering what she’s going to say.” (Lyrics by Lori McKenna)

Sad songs make me remember sad times. It’s not that I’m still sad about something necessarily, it just reminds me of a time when I felt exactly that same way that the singer is describing in a song.

When I watch movies that make me think or I listen to music that makes me stop and listen I think that I want to write like that. I hope that I can haunt people with my words. I hope I can make someone’s week melancholy.

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